TV-Shows
Contents |
That '70s Show
Quotes
 |
These quotes will grow to a very large amount of text once I start filling them out. I'm going to move these to separate pages eventually, probably one page per season. |
Season 1
Episode 1
- Eric
- If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me!
- Hyde
- I'm willing to take that risk.
[...]
- Donna
- And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair.
- Eric
- What's wrong with your dad's hair?
- Donna
- Just... don't look at it.
- Red
- Eric... what the hell happened to Bob's hair?
- Eric
- Beats me.
- Red
- His head looks like a poodle's ass. Boy, just when you think you've seen everything...
- Eric
- ...a poodle's ass walks into your party.
- Red
- Eric, don't use the ass word, you're still in high school.
- Midge
- Kitty, is that your Toyota in the drive?
- Bob
- Red, a Toyota?
- Red
- Yeeah, it's mine. I tell you, the last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me.
Right after Jackie and Michael leave the room:
- Donna
- Can't leave them alone.
- Eric
- No... you know, my sister thinks that we... shouldn't be left alone.
- Donna
- Us? We're alone now.
- Eric
- Well... yeah.
- Donna
- Eric, relax. We've lived next door to each other forever. You could've had me when I was four.
- Eric
- Really? And there I was all day long on the hippety hop. Stupid, stupid, stupid! (Playfully bangs head into pipe along the wall)
- Donna
- (Pushes Eric's head into the pipe one more time)
- Eric
- Stupid!
[...]
Next day outdoors in the driveway:
- Eric
- Ever since yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you. I mean... I've known you practically my whole life. I want you. I want you so bad!
- Donna
- Eric, it's a car.
- Michael
- Let's just leave these two kids alone.
- Bob
- Ah, you kids. Standing around the driveway. It's so darn cute. You know, you may not realize it, but this is the most fun you're ever gonna have.
- Eric
- So it's all downhill from here, sir?
- Bob
- Tch, yeah. (Leaves while fixing hair)
- Michael
- What happened to your dad's hair?
- Donna
- He got a permanent.
- Michael
- So that's permanent?
- Fez
- I may not say this right because I am new to English... but she has tremendous breasts, yes?
- Jackie
- Michael, who is this guy?
- Michael
- Well, that's Fez, he's the foreign exchange student.
- Jackie
- What did we exchange for him?
[...]
- Jackie
- Donna, I have to go to the ladies room. (No reaction from Donna)
- Jackie
- Donna! (Donna gets up and walks Jackie to the bathroom)
- Fez
- I too must go to the bathroom. Eric?
- Eric
- It doesn't work that way with guys. (Fez walks disappointedly to the bathroom)
- Hyde
- So, is Red still thinking about giving you the car, maybe?
- Michael
- Even if we do get it, we're gonna need some serious gas money, cause the Cruiser is a boat.
- Eric
- I know it's a boat. This whole gas shortage bites.
- Fez
- Who's getting a boat?
Michael opens the passenger seat door
- Donna
- Kelso, that's sweet.
- Michael
- Actually, Donna, I'm riding shotgun.
- Donna
- No, you're not.
- Michael
- Well, I'm not riding in the back.
- Donna
- Why don't we let Eric decide?
- Michael
- Eric?
- Eric
- Kelso... (Michael starts getting into the seat) get in the back.
- Kittie
- Huh... the kids are off. I wonder where they're going.
- Red
- Out of town.
- Kittie
- Are you sure?
- Red
- Of course. I told them not to.
- Fez
- Hey guys... Randy dated a man.
- Donna
- I'm okay with it.
- Eric
- We are so cool to be okay with it.
- Randy
- I have to go to the bathroom. (Randy gets up. Kevin doesn't react) Kevin! (Kevin gets up and walks Randy to the bathroom. Fez looks at Eric)
- Eric
- I'll explain later.
- Eric
- What a great night. It's amazing what one act of civil disobedience can do for you. I mean, there's a whole world that's waiting to be driven to. We can go to... Canada! We've got a new battery, what's stopping us?
- Donna
- You know, I think Canada closes at 9:30.
Donna kisses Eric for the first time
- Eric
- What was that for?
- Donna
- I just... wanted to see what it was like.
- Eric
- What was it like?
- Donna
- You were there?!
- Eric
- Yeah, I wasn't ready for it.
- Donna
- What would you have done differently?
- Eric
- I dunno. Something with my lips?
- Donna
- Sounds good. Let's try that next time. (Donna walks away)
- Eric
- When... exactly is next time?
- Donna
- (In the distance) Good night.
- Eric
- Yeah, I'm really gonna sleep after that.
Season 4
Episode 26
- Michael
- I never realized how much plumbing girls had down there. There's this diagram, and it's like a map of six flags.
Season 7
Episode 3
Right after Eric, Hyde and Fez have vandalized a Muffler shop that has gone out of business:
- Red
- You know that Muffler shop that went out of business? I bought it!
- Eric
- Oh no! (everybody stares at him. Then he starts singing:) Do the oh-no, oh no!, do the oh-no, oh no! Come on, everybody! Do the oh-no, say what?, do the oh-no, right now!
A little later, when they go down to inspect the shop, finding it vandalized:
- Kitty
- What's so funny about a muff?
- Red
- Kitty...
- Kitty
- I mean, muffs aren't funny! I have a beautiful gray one that I have been using for years.
- Red
- For the love of God... please..!
- Kitty
- Just tell me what's so funny about my..!
- Red
- Nothing! Nothing is funny!
- Kitty
- Exactly!
